Monday, August 29, 2011

Morning of Victory!

Yay!  This morning I was that woman.  The woman I have dreamed and desired and longed to be for years!  I had a sweet taste of living in victory over something that has plagued my life for years!  Oh yes, it was sweet!

Ok, here's the backstory.  In my heart of hearts, I have desired to be an early riser.  Now, mind you, mornings, historically have not been my friend.  I have proclaimed on many occasions that I am not a morning person!  All of that is changing.

I have shared with you that Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst has been a very helpful tool for me in this life changing journey.  In one of the video sessions, she describes a person whose job it is to carry water.  But the bucket she carries has many holes.  Some of the holes are larger than others.  Some of the holes are in the sides, some are in the bottom.
As the water carrier, what hole would you fill first?  Some would argue to fill the largest one first.  It's the ugliest and stands out the most.  Some would argue to fill several of the small ones at one time so you get more accomplished all at once.  But if that hole in the bottom isn't filled first, then none of the other ones matter.

Make sense?

I had to ask the Lord what my bucket needed.  My heart had some healing to do, and I asked Him where to start.

Start with Me.  

Right, Lord.  I got it.  Give it to you.  Let you work this change in my heart.

Start with Me.

I got it.  Start with the hole in my heart that can only be filled with You.

Start with Me.

But Lord, I don't know where or how to fit it in.  There's so many things pulling at my schedule.  And I'm trying to exercise.  I'm trying to plan healthy meals.  I...  I...

Start with Me.  {Isn't He patient and merciful?}

Oh.  You mean, start today with you?

Yes.  Start with Me.

And each day?  First thing in the morning? It will have to be early morning?  Shoot.  {You remember I said, I'm not a morning person.}

While I did not hear an audible voice, {never have, actually}, I knew in my spirit that He was speaking this truth over my life.  Start each day with Him.  Start each day immersing my soul in His truth.  Make a date Him.  Just me with Jesus.

And y'all.  It's good.  He shows up BIG TIME.  It's sweet.  I anticipate it like a date!  There's been a few mornings that I have ignored His invitation and slept in.  I have found that I really miss that time.  Now, I can find it somewhere else in my day, but there is something so delightful about a quiet and still house in the morning.  It helps my mind and heart be still to hear from Him.

So back to my morning today.  I have been doing this morning routine for several weeks now.  And today it hit me: I was that woman!  I rose early, before the sun.  I began to pray and ask the Lord to speak into my heart.  Begging Him to be my portion, today.  Smitty made me a cup of coffee, 'cause he's wonderful like that and 'cause I do need the caffeine!  I took my dog for a short little stroll, drinking coffee all the while, wearing my pajamas {Ange, I might have to get a housecoat, after all}.  I tinkered around in our one-plant garden, harvesting little cherry tomatoes.  It was quiet and still outside.  The sun was now up.   My soul was quieted and prepared for the day.

Doesn't sound like much to you?  I have longed for the days where my day began this way.  I have desired to seek Him first, literally.  Because I am sinner, I will still have days that don't look like this.  I don't expect that everything's going to go my way because of a good start to the morning.  But I do know that my heart has heard from it's Maker this morning.  He says He loves me very much and wants me to be free of the sin than entangles.

Y'all, I am so hopeful.  I can taste the sweetness of victory over this cycle of defeat.  It's good.

Pray with me that I would accept His invitation each morning for our morning date.